This morning my 8 year old son Euan was eating his chocolate crispy thingies at breakfast when he suddenly announced to his mum.

Mum, dont think Im being rude, but do you mind if Dad takes us to school this morning?

Now how do you feel my wife felt? She felt hurt. Not because she didnt want to take him to school because shes always got a thousand things to do. Not because of being refused. The reason she felt hurt is because she was asked to think that Euan was going to be rude and before she even heard him, shed convinced herself that he was going to be rude.

And when he wasnt it didnt matter. Shed convinced herself that whatever he was going to say, he was going to be rude.

Strange that. But logical.

You see if I ask you not to do something, the way we process this in our heads is to think of the thing were not going to do first, then we think of not doing it, as instructed. The net result, we think of doing it.

Dont think now of a giant flying carrot.

And what do you think of? A flying carrot

Keep an eye on your conversation over the next day or so and listen out for the donts and nots. Most of us, me included, sprinkle our language with them.

In sales this can be disastrous.

Dont worry about the price yet It doesnt matter that we cant deliver on that day because we can With our product, you wont ever need to worry about competitors products

But you can use this to your advantage.

Dont think for a moment you need to make a decision right now to buy this product

Is quite harmless and will subtly suggest they should make a decision right now. You dont have to stop right now if you dont want to

Will confuse any browser to stop and listen to you as their brain interprets what you mean. Say it with a lovely tone and youve broken the ice without being pushy.

I know youre busy right now, so you dont need to worry about remembering this anymore.

I reckon youll not forget though.