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5 Mistakes that Undermine Work and Life Balance

 
Author: Michele Dortch

Work+life balance " ? it's the buzz-phrase that seems to elude many working moms. Each day seems to be a repeat of prior frustrations, unmet needs and annoyances, yet you press on hoping that one day things will change.

Achieving work+life balance isn't a passive endeavor. It involves taking a hard look at how you've been operating and making some deeply personal changes. Following are five common mistakes every stressed out working mom makes along with tips for how you can begin to create a more balanced life.

Mistake #1: Losing sight of your passion
Can you remember a time when you felt so alive that you were bursting at the seams? Hopefully this happened just a few minutes ago, but for many, feeling truly alive hasn't happened in years...if ever.

Balance comes from living a life aligned with your true passion and what motivates you. Without passion, you lead a life filled with distraction and choices made from circumstance, rather than from a clear, purposeful vision.

Mistake #2: Compartmentalizing
You have many different roles in your life " ? working professional, mother, wife, sister, friend, etc. In an attempt to organize and create balance you may be separating, or compartmentalizing, your various roles into individual boxes of time or energy. As a result, you find yourself jumping from box to box multiple times throughout the day. By the end of the day you're exhausted, frustrated and woefully contemplate how you'll do it all again tomorrow.

The solution is to approach your life as an integrated whole. This means embracing all your roles, simultaneously, no matter the situation and adopting a perspective of wholeness. For example, you may think that your work and family lives can never intermingle. Instead of keeping this perspective, try ways to integrate your family into your work. For instance, I allow my children to help in small ways around the office, like sticking labels on envelopes or filing paperwork.

Mistake #3: Comparison
The images of the ideal working mother are plastered everywhere from media to the mom you envy next door. It's easy to look at other working moms and formulate unhealthy comparisons about how you should be performing. Ultimately, comparison leads to a mentality of scarcity and lack as you foster feelings of not being (or doing) enough.

The solution is to stay focused by asking, "What is it that I am all about?" Typically, the answer comes from your clear, purposeful vision and manifests as your personal mission statement. When you are honoring your mission, what you see others doing doesn't influence your choices and actions.

Mistake #4: Super-mom Syndrome
We've all heard the moniker "super-mom" and perhaps you've felt like one because you're handling everything in a single bound! The problem is that super-moms are usually lonely people. Why? Doing everything on your own naturally creates an environment where people don't offer to help ("She's fine. She can do it by herself."). It also creates unnecessary pressure for you to perform without help ("If I ask for help, they'll think I'm not doing a good job.").

Shed your super-mom cape, peel the big "S" from your chest and build a community! No one can do it alone, especially a working mom, and having a strong network of support (spouse, family, friends, coach, mentor, etc.) will free up your time and increase your sense of balance.

Mistake #5: Putting others first
Why is everyone else a priority but yourself? Many of the moms I coach complain about feeling tired or not having enough time to themselves. It's a common symptom of poor work+life balance. When we look at how they spend their day and take a deeper look at the choices they've made in their life, most all of them put others first.

Are you a better mom when all of your family's needs are attended to and yours are left unfulfilled? No. Having unmet needs leads to imbalance so it's important that you devote time, no matter how small, toward your personal renewal - every day!

Author Bio:

Michele Dortch

Bringing more than 10 years of experience from her career in organization and leadership development, Michele Dortch is the founder of The Integrated Mother, a company that provides working mothers with access to the resources, tools and community they need to create an integrated and fulfilled life. She also consults to and partners with employer companies to improve the recruitment and retention of working mothers in the workforce. Michele resides in Southern California with her husband and three children.

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